Friendless Christians

How can it be that there are certain professing Christians, who claim to know Jesus and can quote scripture freely, and also know all that’s wrong within Christianity, and to expose all the false prophets, and yet, not have a friend in this world?

They say that their friendless state is bcos all have abandoned them bcos of their stand for the truth, and therefore it is the price they pay for following Jesus, but does that cut it?

These ‘christians’ are, in reality, spiritually bankrupt, and they have no friends and no fellowship bcos they do not have the love of God in them. And, bcos they don’t have the love of Jesus in them they don’t lay down their lives for others, and end up friendless and alone.

One man in the UK wanted to have fellowship with me, and i made a stipulation, i said,   I will fellowship with you if you can supply me with the name of at least one person in your country with whom you are in fellowship with.  He couldn’t name one, so i didn’t fellowship with him. I still love him, and i hope he has by now begun to love the Body of Christ.

I Cor. 13 teaches that a ‘christian’ can know everything, and yet be damned if they don’t have the real love of God abiding in them. 1 John says the same.


14 Responses to “Friendless Christians”

  1. Oracio Says:

    Wow! Very challenging word brother, especially in my present situation. I have recently stopped considering “going back to a church”(building or institution) and have read and learned alot about the current unbiblical “church system”that is prevalent within mainline Christianity. I still keep contact with some of my friends from the IC, and some of them seem to be okay with fellowshipping with me despite my position. I haven’t really met any Christians in my area who are like-minded with regard to alot of issues which I have recently learned about regarding the IC and true biblical Christianity. So in a sense, I am currently a lone ranger and am waiting on the Lord to send brethren my way who are like-minded.
    But I still fellowship a little with two brothers who are in the IC. I have been a little confused at times as to how I should be toward my brethren who are in the IC still. I’ve asked “Should I still keep close fellowship with them even though they are caught up in a system that is apostate and unbiblical, or should I just be patient with them in their current “captivity” and keep close contact as the Lord allows?”
    And what about the fact that probably most Christians who are in the IC view those that are “out of church” as being either unsaved or out of the will of God. I know I used to be one of those kinds of Christians who thought that way when I was in the IC; so I didn’t think I could have any fellowship with someone who claimed to be a Christian but didn’t “go to church”.
    I guess the confusion for me has to do with the fact that the Lord says, “Come out from among them,” and at the same time He says, “Love the brethren”. But thanks again for this challenging word.


  2. ianvincent Says:

    Hi brother, The last thing you said nails it down really, we are to come out from expressions of Christianity which willfully disregard and disobey the commands of our Lord Jesus, thru His Apostles (i.e. Scripture), yet at the same time, love all men and women who are caught up in such a system, remembering that we all were once deceived by the system. When we see such we are to say, “That was me! I loved Jesus, but that’s all i knew about His Kingdom at the time.”

    Therefore, if i could go back in time to when i was a new-born babe in Christ in a WOF mega-church, when i thought, bcos i was taught, that Jesus would help me achieve all my own selfish-fleshly-egotistic ambitions, then, IT’S CLEAR THAT BACK THEN I NEEDED SOMEONE WHOSE ‘COME OUT’ TO HELP *ME* ‘COME OUT’ OF MY DECEPTION, AND TO HELP ME ‘COME TO’ MATURITY. (He did, thru the ministry of prophets, in print, who directed me to the Word of God).

    Regarding being a lone ranger : bcos you care, it shows you have Jesus love, and the lonely time will only be a temporary season you pass thru. A person who is submitted to Jesus, and bcos of Him loves people, cannot stay alone for long. Especially bcos of the fact that you are asking God for fellowship, He will hear your cry and answer you in His time.

  3. cheryl Says:

    Wow…I just received an email from my sister this morning. She claims to be a Christian, yet she alienates almost everyone she comes into contact with not with her testimonies, but her tactless and selfish ways. When she has been a guest in someone’s home she will expect special privileges, criticize the way they do things such as housekeeping. (“I see you have dustballs under the bed in the guestroom, you know as the steward of the guestroom God has given you, you had better clean those dustballs up!”) She really believes or has convinced herself that she says these things because she loves us and WE need to know the truth.

    Her email to me today was one of self pity because she has no friends, and I haven’t recently invited her to my home.Nor have any other family members. This small blog post is something I am going to send to her IN LOVE, as I pray for her. It will be a hard word for her, but I hope she sees that to have a friend, you must first be a friend.

  4. ianvincent Says:

    Hi Cheryl, I *think* i know you from RS. Thanks for dropping by.

    Praying for your sister.

    Unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies it remains alone… , a spiritual truth.

  5. ianvincent Says:

    One point here is that obnoxious ‘christians’ can easily attend the modern version of ‘church’, yet, they could never be a living, functional, MEMBER of the Church, the way it was originally and was always supposed to be. That is bcos their sin would, sooner or later, be addressed, and they would then either change or leave. Not an ultimatum, rather the presence of the Lord doing this, where darkness and light just can’t mix, one or the other has to leave. And this is one of the obvious reasons why the original Way has been abandoned for man’s ways, bcos it’s easier to manage carnal ‘christians’. i.e. an escape from facing the realities Jesus calls us to face and address.

  6. cheryl Says:

    “That is bcos their sin would, sooner or later, be addressed, and they would then either change or leave.”

    That is a true appraisal of the situation that my sister is always finding herself in. She is always in a state of “flux”. Either leaving a fellowship or friendship because someone dared to tell her the truth. Even the most longsuffering of saints cannot get through to her because if she is shown even an ounce of attention or pity she leeches onto that person and will practically take over their life with her “woe is me” ways.

    I read an article a few months ago about the human brain. It was a medical study conducted over a number of years which showed that our “minds” or in this case, our brains can become renewed when we choose to do the “right thing”. Study participants who were former thieves, liars, drug users etc. who decided to disown their former way of life were found to have certain neurons and pathways in their brains which were beforehand dying to become regenerated.This of course was not a Christian project, but I believe the implications are the same. The more the study participants did what was right in the eyes of the law, the more their brain’s structure helped them to reinforce that behavior. The ones who “cheated” even a little bit by lying or stealing etc. showed little to no regeneration of brain cells.

    I thank you for the prayers for my sister. She was the person who led me to the Lord back in 1978. We were both teenagers at the time. I want to see her in heaven.
    And yup I’m cheryllynn from RS. I enjoy reading the blog. It’s very exhortative (is that a word?) and uplifting.

  7. ianvincent Says:

    Hi Cheryl, Thanks for that. I’m still agreeing with you in prayer for your sister.

    A brother here gave us this scripture yesterday:

    1John 5:16 If anyone sees his brother sinning a sin not leading to death, he shall ask, and He shall give him life for those who do not sin unto death. There is a sin leading to death. I do not say that he should ask about that.

    There’s an encouragement in the Truth. We can ask God concerning a brother/sister’s sin and He will give them faith and grace to overcome it, described here as “life” – – …He will give him life..

    Father, we pray for life for Cheryl’s sister, that you will give her your life, and forgive her sins, as you have forgiven ours, in Jesus’ name, amen.

  8. ianvincent Says:

    What’s sadder than the fact that there are “friendless christians” walking the earth, is the fact there are real Christians who just don’t care and don’t love enough to present the truth to these ones. By all means we should speak the truth.

    When Paul was faced with christian carnality in Corinth, he didn’t affirm them, rather, he asked them to examine themselves whether they are indeed in the faith. He asked them to prove that they are not reprobates.

    2Co 13:5 Examine yourselves as to whether you are in the faith; prove your own selves. Or do you not know yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you, unless indeed you are reprobates?

    We should say the same to the friendless christian : Where is the proof that the love of Jesus is residing in you? You say you have Jesus’ love in you, but every other follower of Jesus finds you obnoxious, and can’t bear to be with you?? How does that compute?

    This is the operation of judging with righteous judgment.


    Re: use of words “christian” and “friends” , they each have several meanings in common usage, so the context will tell us what the writer means, in what sense he uses the word, eh.
    e.g Jesus calls us His friends, yet we are also more than JUST friends. The church is also referred to in the NT as “the friends” yet its also called the house/family of God.

  9. ianvincent Says:

    It’s been a few years since i’ve been in email contact with the guy in the UK i mentioned, who wasn’t in fellowship with anyone, yet had a constant stream of correction for the church.

    If you’re out there mate, how’s it going? Have you come into fellowship with anyone since then?

  10. ianvincent Says:

    My comment on this article posted on another forum; Someone remarked that these days it’s a lonely walk for true Christians. I commented:

    For sure it’s a lonely walk to take up your cross and follow Jesus unto death. To love Him more than your own life.

    But what do you make of a Christian who has been ‘saved’ for 10 or 20 years, and has been in contact with thousands of Christians and at the end of the day can’t name one person they could call their friend? (and this same person quotes the Bible furiously and at every opportunity)

    When i asked the guy whether he preached the gospel he said “No, i’m not an evangelist!” He had a scripture to justify every hypocritical aspect of his life.

    Is it right to PRETEND that people like this are Christians and to let them waste your time and energy?

    There’s a number of people like that who come onto forums.

    IMU, when people become annoying they should be made to disclose their real name and some references of those they are in fellowship with.

  11. some guy Says:

    i think what you said about a friendless christian being some self deceived person on the way to hell, is about the most judgmental things ive heard. I happen to be just about friendless as coming out of the world and my struggle to integrate into church the last 3 years has left me. That and a crippling chronic pain condition that i conveniently got right after making a a serious commitment to Christ and repentance. In fact, while dealing with the serious depression that has come second hand to having chronic head and jaw pain, Ive found it almost impossible to socialize and act attractive enough to gain the friendship of people at church. Ive walked in and out, made my struggle with health and complete poverty pretty much public, and the reaction ive got from other christians has been indifference bordering on disdain. And all the while, my so-called ungodly friends continue to at least email me and greet me in cyberspace at least. So, i dont know if not having any friends means im going to hell in your opinion, but i would be careful if I were you making such blanket statements and judgment. Ive read more than one psalm by an author who had been abandoned by friends and family.

  12. ianvincent Says:

    I can relate to what you’re saying, and i do pray you will find fellowship, and at least one brother or sister who is a real friend in Christ.

    We are both actually preaching the same message: both protesting against loveless Christianity.

    It must be very apostate there, if, after years of loving and serving the Body of Christ, you can’t find one friend.

    When i said “friend less” i meant that literally. If you have even one friend then you are not friendless.

    And still, of course, there is always the possibility of a genuine Christian becoming totally friendless. I’m not referring to them, i’m referring to obnoxious people. If you’re not obnoxious, then it doesn’t apply to you.

    But on reflection, i’m just speaking out things i’ve encountered. I don’t realistically expect the type of ‘christian’ i’m referring to, to change upon reading my short blurb.

  13. pp Says:

    In reading your article I find that you cannot put every person in the same box. What your stated about friendless Christians is only barely scratching the service. In your article you stated that the one who has no friends is “spiritually bankrupt.” I will present this from my own experiences in being a born again Christian. I am emphasizing born again because I have come to the conclusion that there are many, many counterfeit Christians in the church. For an understanding on this please refer to this teaching by David Wilkerson: .

    Scenario one:

    When I was introduced to the christian faith I attended a church for over 10 years. I was a teenager and I was very hungry for the truth of Word. I was also very active within the church and did every possible to best of my knowledge; to be a friendly and out going individual with others. What I found depending on the church that you are attending is that there are many who claim to be Christians but in fact are not interested in the convictions that require commitment. What I also found is when there is strong convictions there is often strong rejections. After leaving that church and being very depressed for months following; I noticed one by one completely leaving the faith and living and committing themselves to the world whole heartily. I asked the Lord why? I was grieved and sad about the situation. I believe that I received an understanding on the situation: “They never were believers to begin with”.

    We need to understand that Friendship with people who do not love the Truth are not good friends to begin with. Friends who only think of themselves are not good friends.

    Here is something that is common: I attend a church or bible study group for 5 years and during those five years I noticed two things. One those of the group only associate themselves within the group of “clicks” or better stated only associate with those who “Attend” the group or “never leaves? the group. Once I left the group for financial and life reasons and demands, NOT ONE stayed in contact with me or bothered to meet with me “OUTSIDE” their group or church. This is a classical example of a test that is conducted on Cults, “can the people associate with one another and others outside the 4 walls of the mega church?

    This is a very broad subject but I will say this: A SEEKER friendly church format built on Philosophical, Mystics like: Rick Warren, Richard Foster, Joel Olsteen, Liquid Church and many others I will never attend again. Those are the one who are “Spiritually Bankrupt” reproducing false converts and superficial relationships built on shallow and mystical concepts. Read 1 Corinthians as an example.

    The truth is some don’t have friends because they are not willing to compromise the convictions of scripture and their love for the Lord and His church.

    We also need to understand that A Great Apostasy must take place before the Lord return. we just refer to the church leaving and never entering an apostate state.

    An apostate church denies Jesus Chris, Denies biblical marriage, denies the fundamentals of the Christian faith and practice. This is why I said one paragraph is not enough to address your topic.


  14. ian vincent Says:

    Thanks Paul for your comment.

    The issue is about when a Christian has no friends, not even one. I wasn’t talking about a Christian who only has a few friends bcos they can’t find any more who love Jesus in truth.

    I would be glad to be your friend and then at least you would have one friend and you would no longer be a “friendless Christian”.

    You’ve quoted David Wilkerson. He was a brother who for the most part would not compromise the truth of God’s Word, and as far as i’m aware he had a number of close friends in the Lord. So, why can’t you be like him?

    But are you saying that in these days, if one doesn’t compromise then that means they won’t be able to find anyone else who doesn’t compromise?

    Are you saying that you have no friends bcos no one you have met is sincere? Are you the only sincere Christian, and therefore alone?

    On a daily basis, how many people would you serve in love and reach out to them with the word and love of Christ?

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