Letter to a brother with marriage problems

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One Response to “Letter to a brother with marriage problems”

  1. ian vincent Says:

    Letter to a brother with marriage problems

    What’s on my heart, brother, is to say that there must be a way in God, in Christ Jesus, for your marriage to last.

    In my marriage the Scripture which says, “Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for her” (Eph. 5:25) helped me to understand that if I’m to obey this then it will mean that God holds me more responsible than my wife to maintain the peace and to forgive – to take the initiative to forgive and extend grace just as Christ took the initiative toward us. Our marriage to Christ was only possible because He took the initiative to love us and forgive us first. He took the high moral ground and therefore it’s up to the man to take the moral high ground in a marriage.

    I think we’re sometimes sold short when we’re told marriage is a 50/50 partnership, because I think that God holds the man more responsible than the woman for maintaining a God-honoring marriage. I believe that God requires us men to take the high moral ground and be the first to forgive, to be the first to apologize. We are to cover our wives just as Christ’s love, mercy and grace covers us. He laid down His life for us and yet we barely lay down our lives for Him, but He loves us anyway and His commitment to us is unfading and unfailing.

    God’s love for us is covenantal; it is based on the beauty of His covenant and not on our beauty or desirability. What is love if it is not a covenant? If it is not a covenant then it can change with the fickle winds of changing circumstances and one can fall out of love. The beauty of covenantal love is that the one who is loved by such a love knows that they will always be loved, that their spouse can never change their mind for they are in covenant with God who never changes – He is in the marriage covenant, He holds the covenant and the marriage together …“and a threefold cord cannot be easily broken” (Eccl 4:12b).

    ~ Ian Vincent (From the Archives)

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